Once I made up my mind to exactly live the Honor Code, my life improved drastically. That very day something happened that blessed my life exceedingly. But I know that Heavenly Father blessed me with that opportunity because I decided to be completely and humbly obedient.
Here in the MTC there are quite a few more rules than the Honor Code, or even than the White Handbook. I tried to keep a humble heart coming into the MTC by ensuring that all my clothing fit the guidelines, and by making sure I followed the packing list to exactness. But there were a few things that irked me about being in the MTC, mostly about gym time.
Gym time is not my favorite time. On Saturday I decided to climb a tree and study flashcards while my district played volleyball. Needless to say, one of the gym supervisors told me to get down. I got down but was quite upset. I thought it was unfair that everyone else was able to relax and do something for themselves during gym time, but not myself.
I prayed and read my scriptures intensely that day, and asked for a blessing. I wanted to figure out how best to give my all to the Lord. The next day, during the temple dedication, I recalled my experience with the Honor Code, and decided to do the same with the rules here in the MTC. I realized that it doesn't matter if I don't understand why a rule is in effect, or if I think it's unfair. I'm here to serve the Lord. So I decided starting Monday morning to follow every rule with exactness. I started to go to bed on time and stopped murmuring about the little rules that are hard to follow.
On Monday Sister O. urged me to go see the doctor here at the MTC about my legs. I thought that they would stop misbehaving once I ate regularly and ate fruits and veggies at each meal, but they still collapse randomly. The doctor gave me some crutches to use at my discretion and scheduled an MRI and a blood test to try and figure out what's causing it.
Long story short, we don't know. There wasn't anything unusual in the MRI of my lumbar spine, which is good in one sense because the doctor was afraid there was a tumor or misplaced disc that was affecting my spinal cord. So that's good. But the blood test - which tested the functions of my liver, kidneys, other random intestines that I don't know the names of, blood sugar, white blood cell count, electrolytes, all that fun stuff - showed that I am a perfectly healthy 19 year old. Which I knew. Except that sometimes my legs collapse.
So the doctor recommends I go home on medical release so that I can talk with a neurologist and figure out what's causing this because it's been happening since July and hasn't gone away even with full nights of sleep and proper nutrition. I find out later today whether I get to stay or have to go home.
All in all, I know that it is no coincidence that I talked with the doctor on the very same day that I decided to be completely obedient and give my all to the Lord. Saturday was a hard day for me, but I did a lot of praying and reading my scriptures got a blessing from the elders in my district. Sunday I decided to stop murmuring and give all of myself - physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally - to the Lord. Monday I employed that plan.
There's a Mormon messages video about being chastised by the Lord that I love. It talks about how the Lord knows best, and he cuts us down sometimes because he loves us. We may think we know His plan, but we probably don't, so it's better to just humbly submit and let Him lead us.
Sorry if this letter was scattered and vague and made no sense and wasn't as detailed...
Talk to you all later!
Love,
Sister Maxwell
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