Forces of Creation: Truth

I believe that there are opposing forces in the world. From a religious standpoint, you could could call it "good" and "evil." Whether or not you believe in the existence of a loving, benevolent God or a lying, manipulative devil, there are creative forces in the world, and destructive ones. Because I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I call those creative forces "good", and the destructive forces "evil", but the essence remains the same regardless of what you call them.

Creating is an act of innovation and inspiration. There is virtue in organizing previously chaotic matter into something of substance, beauty, or ingenuity. For the most part, creations serve a purpose. God created the world for us to live on and be tested. Writers, composers, and artists of all kinds create in order to share their unique vision with the world, in the hopes that it might resonate inside someone. Architects, engineers, and innovators across all fields of science seek to make sense of unorganized information and matter. When used to uplift, inspire, and edify humanity, these are all forces of good. They are forces of creation.

However, one often overlooked means of creation - means of engendering good in the world - is how we interact with one another. The words we speak have power to either create or destroy. You can uplift someone by complimenting them, appreciating their contributions, or sharing something that inspired you. But with words, we also have the power to cut someone down, suppress their ideas and their voice, belittle them, and cause rifts in the way they perceive themselves and others.

Although I am a Mormon, and attribute my understanding of these opposing forces to my continuing enlightenment by God, I believe that this is something that anyone with an honest, open heart can understand. I have grown closer to God exponentially in the past two (ish) years, insomuch that the things that once bothered me and riled me up now pass along peacefully, and the ideals and practices I once scorned and resented now uplift and bring me strength. As such, I've found that as I grow closer to God, I see more clearly the way in which these forces of creation and destruction interact and lead us in varying paths.

Whoever you are, whatever your sexual orientation, your political views, or your religion (or lack thereof), I believe that you can be a force for good in the world. You can create and inspire love, order, and understanding across all canyons of differences. Just because someone is different from you in belief or practice does not mean that you must hate, mistrust, or scorn them. Such deeds are insidious acts of destruction which bring loneliness, misunderstanding, and often violence.

It is easy to be caught up in ourselves and point fingers at the world, saying, "Look what he did!" "Look at how terribly she treats others!" but so much harder to look inside ourselves and ask if we are any better. Oftentimes we can get so caught up in pointing out each other's flaws that we fail to see the virtues that could be built upon to add goodness and love to our lives.

An example of such lays in Dear Santa, a corny Christmas movie I recently finished watching that inevitably ended with the female protagonist getting the family she'd wished for. (Spoiler alert!) The movie begins when Crystal finds a letter to Santa from a young girl, asking for a new mother for Christmas. Crystal feels inspired, and through an admittedly awkward locating process, she positions herself to meet the girl's father, Derek. She and Derek begin a tentative friendship.

Unfortunately, Derek's kind-of girlfriend Jillian is immediately jealous of Crystal, and seeks for any and every opportunity to point out Crystal's flaws to Derek, ranging from "Oh, she can't cook," to "She never graduated from college." Eventually the Jillian stumbles across the letter from Santa while rummaging through Crystal's unattended wallet. She triumphantly shows it to Derek as proof of Crystal's dishonesty. He is, of course, dismayed, and breaks off his just budding romance with Crystal.

Is it true that Crystal deliberately positioned herself to meet Derek because she knew he was looking for a new wife? Yes. Did she lie about it? Yes, by omission. Therefore, Derek's "girlfriend" did not speak anything but the "truth" to him by accusing Crystal of deceiving him. But that's not the point. The point is that although it started out as a game for her, Crystal soon grew to really care for Derek and his daughter Olivia. Throughout the course of the movie we see continual proof of her earnestness, compassion, and kindness. She felt remorse for not telling Derek how she met him, and tried to tell him once, but outside factors intervened and she lost her chance.

Some may say that you cannot excuse a person's bad deeds by their good intentions, or by separate good deeds. I firmly disagree. While the person ought to be held accountable for their transgression and do all in their power to make the situation right, we must be careful to look into that person's heart before we cast a "final judgment." I'm not speaking of unlawful, jail-worthy things here; I speak of the smaller, seemingly trivial misunderstandings and slights that we encounter every day in our workplaces, schools, churches, and families.

In my religion, we speak a lot about the concept of faith: having hope in something that cannot be seen. Most of the time we refer to having faith in God, or in Christ, or in the power of prayer, etc. But it is also important to have faith in other people. No mortal being is perfect, and so we all have things we've done or said that could condemn us, if someone took the time to search out our flaws and compile them into one compelling, convicting case. What matters more is that we look forward to the bright future we could have. We must not choose ignorance of a person's virtues simply because of a perceived vice.

Orson Scott Card, also a Mormon, presents this quite gracefully in his Seventh Son series. Alvin, the main character, is a man of honesty who seeks only to create peace and harmony in the world. However, over the course of his life, many who are envious of Alvin's talents seek to dirty his name. They set both legal and physical traps for him and spread vicious and misconstrued rumors about him, thus causing many people to hate, revile, and seek after Alvin's life.

It is ironic, then, that I received a whiplash of doubt and hate after I expressed my excitement to meet Brother Card at a recent church event. Just like Alvin, there are vicious rumors spreading about Brother Card, engendering hate, judgment, and mistrust, dissuading people from ever wanting to read his books.

These are tools of destruction. They are aimed to disprove Card's integrity and discount the virtue of his writings. But they are wrong. As someone who earnestly seeks for truth and light, who seeks only to be inspired and uplifted, believe me when I say that I know integrity, wisdom, and compassion when I see it.

And thus we see another eternal law: what you look for is what you will find. Try an experiment with me. Go somewhere with lots of people, somewhere where you can sit and observe unobtrusively. Now take a moment to scan the crowd and count how many people are wearing orange. Write it down, remember it. Now, I ask you: How many people were wearing purple? No, you don't get to look again; that's cheating. From the data you wrote down from that initial glance, can you tell me how many people were wearing purple? Of course not! You find what you look for.

Thus, if you seek out misery, loneliness, and instances where you or someone else has been wronged, that is all you'll find. You'll find multitudes of evidence of everyone else's flaws and how they've hurt you and done you an injustice, all the while not even seeing the good that those people bring to your life. If you are looking to dig up bones about my past, Orson Scott Card's past, or even the origins of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, you'll find it. Other people who seed destruction and hate goodness will always try to warp your interpretation of something virtuous.

But if you are an earnest seeker of truth and light, who wants to build other people up instead of cutting them down, then you will be able to perceive past the mists of darkness that obscure the integrity of good things. How is it possible, you ask, to find recognize truth? There is a passage in the Book of Mormon which perfectly expounds how to recognize truth:

"Wherefore, a man being evil cannot do that which is good; neither will he give a good gift.

For behold, a bitter fountain cannot bring forth good water; neither can a good fountain bring forth bitter water; wherefore, a man being a servant of the devil cannot follow Christ; and if he follow Christ he cannot be a servant of the devil.

Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually.

But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired by God.

Wherefore, take heed, my beloved brethren, that ye do not judge that which is evil to be of God, or that which is good and of God to be of the devil.

For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night." (Moroni 7:10-15)

Let me repeat: "A bitter fountain cannot bring forth good water; neither can a good fountain bring forth bitter water." Earlier in the chapter Moroni says, "For I remember the word of God which saith by their works ye shall know them; for if their works be good, then they are good also." (verse 5)

Basically, he's saying that the way to tell between good and evil, creation and destruction, truth and lies, is by looking at the fruits of the labor. Turning to an outside source for information on a person's integrity, especially when those sources actively seek to destroy that integrity, is as effective as refusing to interview someone for a job, and instead interviewing all their exes. Of course you're going to find negative things about the person. Would you hire or refuse to hire the man based solely on the testimony of those who hate him? Of course not! It's preposterous. The best way for you to know someone's integrity is to interview them yourself.

In the case of my favorite author, Orson Scott Card, I don't even bother seeking out the negative things people have said about him, because I've already "interviewed" him and found his character to be noble and uplifting. I "interview" him personally by reading his books, because they are the fruit of his character. An author cannot obscure their integrity or lack thereof in their writings. It will always shine through. I've found that through reading his books I am inspired to build up my family through patience and love, develop my own writing talents, and grow closer to God, the creator of all things.

If you're wondering about the validity of a person or an idea, look to see what it engenders. Do the people who love it spread creation or destruction? What about those who say it is nothing but a falsehood? Do they spread feelings of peace, joy, and love, or of strife, hate, and malice? Trust your gut. Trust the light that is in you to recognize light in others.

I cannot speak of this without mentioning the controversy which surrounds my own religion, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Perhaps some of you reading this question my convictions, question why I believe what I do. Instead of scouring the internet and believing every harmful thing said about my church, why don't you go to the direct source and find out for yourself? With an honest, open heart, seeking for truth, read the Book of Mormon and pray about it.

Moroni himself, at the end of the Book of Mormon, dares you to give it a try. He challenges,

"Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things." (Moroni 10:3-5) Your internal compass - your deep desire to find truth amid the confusions and controversies that abound in these days - will connect with truth when you find it.

I know that the Book of Mormon is true. I know it because I seek after anything virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy, and in my seekings, the Holy Ghost has resonated the truth of the book in me. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints contains the fulness of the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. I do not bury my head in the sand by ignoring the forces which try to dissuade me from the goodness and creation I've found. Rather, I reject the voices beckoning from the darkness, because I've found the brightness of the noonday sun.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland exhorts us to love one another in a marvelous BYU address called, "How Do I Love Thee." I encourage you to read or listen to the entire speech, even if you aren't Mormon. Regardless, for my purposes here I only quote a small passage from his speech, in which he says,

"Think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. Assume the good and doubt the bad. Encourage in yourself what Abraham Lincoln called 'the better angels of our nature' (First Inaugural Address, 4 March 1861). Othello could have been saved even in the last moment when he kissed Desdemona and her purity was so evident… This tragically sad Elizabethan tale could have had a beautiful, happy ending if just one man, who then influenced another, had thought no evil, had rejoiced not in iniquity, but had rejoiced in truth."

You cannot feel the warmth of the sun until you step out from shadows yourself. You can know truth for yourself. And in doing so, you will assist the forces of creation: creating harmony, love, and understanding between all peoples. I have faith in people. I choose to believe the good things about people. Am I perfect at it? Of course not. But I actively strive to seek out the good in others, even if it does not yet exist. For perhaps in my seeking, I can inspire them to do better, to turn from lies and darkness to truth and light. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

A More Excellent Way

Only a few of your faces are familiar, but this pulpit in this meetinghouse is as familiar to me as my own hand. This is my home ward building, this is where I grew up, and this is where I have returned after months of being in Utah first for college, and then the Missionary Training Center. I entered the MTC on September 10th, 2014, but was released two weeks later and sent home to work through some medical issues.

Needless to say, my life has gone through some significant changes in the past few weeks. My family and friends are all very supportive, reassuring me that the doctors will figure it out, and I’ll be back on my mission in no time. Everyone keeps offering tidbits of their own medical wisdom to me, saying, “Oh, you just have a sodium deficiency,” or “You must have a pinched nerve,” or even, “Have you ingested any pesticides lately?” No, I haven’t. And to be frank, although I appreciate the concern, I disagree. That’s not the question. Of course I’m curious about what exactly is causing my condition, but it’s not what I pray for. I’m not worried at all about my health. What concerns me is:

What will I do next?

That is the question. That is what I carried within my heart to General Conference this year. What would you have me do, Lord?

That is why, when asked to speak on a conference talk from this past conference, I immediately thought of Carlos A. Godoy’s talk: The Lord has a Plan for Us! When preparing to speak today, I also turned to Elder Uchtdorf’s talk, Receiving a Testimony of Light and Truth. There’s a common thread between these talks, and it’s the principle of personal revelation.

Elder Godoy relates how, when faced with the decision to come to America as a scholarship student, “it was not a decision between what was right and what was wrong, but between what was good and what was better.” Too often, we label all our choices as bad or good. But as we come to live more fully in the light of the Gospel, our choices are illuminated in varying shades of good, better, and best.

In 1 Corinthians 12:31, Paul urges, “But covet ye earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way.”

I know for me, this is what my life has turned into. Keeping the Question in mind - What do I do next? - I have to evaluate: what will be best for me, for my family, for my future progeny? What is the more excellent way? Am I to return to my mission? Am I to serve as a member-missionary? Am I supposed to return to school? If so, where? I applied to BYU Provo for the fifth time this past month, and was declined yet again. So BYU Provo was out. It was confusing and altogether terrifying because I desire so much to do what the Lord wants me to do; I don’t want to go down a second-rate path, and live a second-rate life. I want to live the glorious path that the Lord has set out for me.

What do we do, then, if, even with all our powers of thought and imagination, we cannot decide which path is best? As President Uchtdorf explains, “If you want to recognize spiritual truth, you have to use the right instruments. You can’t come to an understanding of spiritual truths with instruments that are unable to detect it.” Of all the classes I took and all the social blunders I committed, the single most important thing I learned while in Utah this year is this principle. I learned how to turn to the Lord, to not just assume that I know best. I learned to fast and “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart”, to immerse myself in the scriptures with an intensity and focus I’ve never before experienced.

In his talk, Elder Godoy shares three steps to “ensure that we are making the right decision,” which fit perfectly with President Uchtdorf’s four steps to experiment on the word of God and receive further light. All decisions are spiritual decisions, because everything in this life either leads us closer to Heavenly Father or further from Him. That is not to say that we need to fret and fast about which brand of paprika to buy at the grocery store; God gives us brains for a reason. But in matters that could greatly influence our future and our families’ futures, we should first turn to the Lord.

According to Elder Godoy, the first step of decision making is to begin with the end in mind. We need to make sure that our actions indicate the “end” that is congruent with our values. Regardless of age, gender, or occupation, ultimately we all have the same “end”, or goal: to return to live with Christ and Heavenly Father forever. After General Conference the very first thing I did was open up my patriarchal blessing and read through it, to ask the question that Elder Godoy recalls: “If [I] continue to live as [I] am living, will the blessings in [my] patriarchal blessing be fulfilled?” I spent a good hour or so studying it, not only listing out the blessings, but also the expectations the Lord sets for me. I realized that even though I’m living righteously, there’s always more I can do. I contented myself with the fact that even though God hadn’t yet told me what He wanted me to do in the upcoming months and year, I can still focus on helping out my family today. Even that realization was a minor revelation, because I shifted my focus from spending hours a day studying Russian to interacting with my siblings, cleaning the house, and talking with my mom. I know it is making a difference in our family, and yes, it does bring me closer to my goal of eternal life, because family IS eternal life. There is no better place to practice Christ-like attributes than in my own family.

Next, “we need to be prepared for the challenges that come. The best paths in life are rarely the easiest. Often, it is exactly the opposite.” This is the point where we really need to buckle down and throw ourselves at God through earnest prayer, fasting, and scripture study. Elder Uchtdorf’s steps of receiving personal light and truth fit in very nicely here.

First, we need to “search the word of God… not with an intent to doubt or criticize, but with a sincere desire to discover truth.” If it seems like you haven’t yet received a clear answer, don’t despair, KEEP seeking. Look at all the past prophets who have received revelation from the Lord, and remember “how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.” The Lord loves you just as much as He loves Adam, Enoch, Noah, Moses, and Joseph Smith. Elder Uchtdorf assures us that God “will manifest the truth to you by the power of the Holy Ghost. He will grant you greater light that will allow you to look through the darkness and witness unimaginably glorious vistas incomprehensible to mortal sight.”

Then, don’t forget ask God, in the name of Jesus Christ, if the choice you’re leaning towards is true, if the seed planted in your heart is a good seed. If, after praying, you’re only 5% more certain of your decision than before you prayed, you are on the right track. The final way to verify the godliness of your choice is to act on it. Act on that percentage, whatever it may be.

In the MTC, in my first visit with the doctor about my legs buckling, he asked me if I would prefer to go home and figure things out with a neurologist there. “No!” I exclaimed. Of course not. Surely, I thought, I’m not THAT unwell. But over the next few days I had many doctors’ visits to receive the results of the MRI of my spine and the blood tests, both of which appeared entirely normal. Again, the doctor suggested I go home and speak with a neurologist, because it would take too long to figure things out in the MTC.

I realized there was a choice ahead of me. If I had chosen to stay in the MTC, I doubt I would have stayed long before they forced me to go home. Regardless, after much prayer and heart wrenching personal study, I was 75% sure I needed to go home. Luckily, the next day our district got to go to the temple to do an endowment session. I tried to fast, I really did! I went with a desperate heart, a growling stomach, a racking cough, and two cumbersome crutches. But mere minutes into the endowment session, I was coughing so hard that my nose started bleeding profusely and I had to leave and lie down for a bit. The temple workers had a right to be concerned, considering the state I was in: a terrible cough, a bloody nose, faulty legs, and runny eyes. I didn’t tell them that the reason I was crying wasn’t because I had cold. I was crying because I knew. I knew that I had to go home. Although I had good intentions in the temple as well as on my mission, for the sake of at least my health, I had to go home. Directly after our temple visit that day I met with a District President of the MTC, who told me I would leave the next day.

Outwardly, it may not have seemed like I acted on my impression to go home. Inwardly, I had made my decision even before I went to the temple; I just needed that little extra push. Not every choice we make will be that drastic. Right now, even, I’ve made a choice that I’m not going back on my mission for at least six months, and am working towards that decision by spending time with my family, going back to work, and applying to BYU-Idaho. The final, verifying part of this decision will be when I actually get to campus and start taking classes and living life in Rexburg. I felt the impression to go to BYU-Idaho strongly before, but I know that living there will seal it for me. “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.” John’s statement comforts me, because I don’t want to choose selfishly. I want to choose God’s path for me; I want to choose the more excellent way. I know that if I act on even my 55% spiritual impressions, if I follow through instead of sitting stagnantly and unsurely, then I will know whether I am doing God’s will or my own.

The consequences of our choices will come, and if we have chosen right, chosen God’s path, Satan will surely try to make us doubt our decision. Elder Holland, in a marvelous BYU address called Cast Not Away Therefore Thy Confidence, expounds this principle. He says,

“It is in… the process of revelation and making important decisions, fear plays a destructive, sometimes paralyzing role… After you have gotten the message, after you have paid the price to feel His love and hear the word of the Lord, go forward. Don’t fear, don’t vacillate, don’t quibble, don’t whine. You may, like Ammon going to Ammonihah, have to find a route that leads an unusual way, but that is exactly what the Lord is doing here for the children of Israel. Nobody has ever crossed the Red Sea this way before, but so what? There’s always a first time. With the spirit of revelation, dismiss your fears and wade in with both feet.”

No matter what your decision is, there will be challenges. If you can’t see anything challenging ahead, anything that stretches, annoys, humbles, or distresses you, it might not be the right decision. I am not saying that you ought to doubt and fret; quite the contrary. I’m saying that if you HAVE doubts, don’t worry, because as long as you remember your spiritual witness, you can keep going and push the doubts away.

Finally, Elder Godoy mentions something I often forget while making decisions: We need to share our vision with the people we love. In 1 Nephi 8, when Lehi partakes of the fruit of the tree of life, he says, “it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit.” Immediately, Lehi looked for his family and beckoned to them, because he wanted them to share in his joy. But two of his sons, Laman and Lemuel, did not partake of the fruit, which caused Lehi to “exeedingly [fear] for Laman and Lemuel… and he did exhort them then with all the feeling of a tender parent, that they would hearken to his words.” When Elder Godoy decided to come study in America, he and his wife still had two children at home. As he says, “When we decide to take a certain path, the people we love will be affected, and some will even share with us the results of this choice. Ideally, they will see what we see, and share our convictions. This is not always possible, but when it occurs, the journey is much easier.”

I am lucky that my family and loved ones supported me so much with my decision to serve a mission. Coming back from the MTC, though, is a different experience. Honestly, being back does not trouble me much, as I have had personal spiritual witnesses that this is the path that the Lord wants me to take, no matter how circuitous or illogical it may be to my frail human logic. But my mom is still working through it. It is hard for her because she has not had the same spiritual impressions I have had. But honestly, it doesn’t matter. It is not her decision to make. It is between myself and God. I want her to be happy with my decisions, but I can’t force her to feel the same conviction I do. The people who cannot understand why I claim to know what I know, are “completely mistaken,” as President Uchtdorf explains. “They might be well-meaning and sincere. They might feel absolutely positive of their opinion. But they simply would not be able to see clearly because they had not yet received the more complete light of truth.”

Granted, there’s a difference between bearing one’s testimony to a non-believer and trying to reassure your mother that you’ve made the right decision, but although the degree of disagreement differs, the essence is the same. They have yet to receive the more complete light of truth. I love President Uchtdorf’s statement, “We do not condemn others for the amount of light they may or may not have; rather, we nourish and encourage all light until it grows clear, bright, and true.” If your loved ones do not agree or understand a decision you’ve made that you KNOW is prompted by God, don’t worry. Don’t be upset with them. Just love them all the more. Forgive them; they’re trying the best they can with the knowledge they have. Christ, just before his death at the hands of his own people, said to the Father, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

All of us are at different points in our spiritual journeys. We each receive revelation according to our unique circumstances, the fulness of which only God knows. Live true to how God wants you to live. Keep the goal of eternal life in mind. Don’t fear or doubt your spiritual impressions, and don’t forget to love and forgive those who misunderstand you. Although our lives may be different, we are one in the cause of Christ, in Zion, in working towards Him. In the words of Elder Holland, quoting Joseph Smith, “shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on to the victory!”

I know that God lives and loves each one of us. I know that Christ atoned for us, and through Him, we can return to live with Heavenly Father once more. I know that continually searching for personal revelation fills our lives with light, hope, direction, and purpose. I am grateful to be a member of the restored church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and for the opportunity I have to supplicate the Lord and receive his blessings. I say these things in the name of our beloved Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

REFERENCES:

“The Lord Has a Plan For Us!”, Elder Carlos A. Godoy, October 2014 General Conference

“Receiving a Testimony of Light and Truth”, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, October 2014 General Conference

“Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence”, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, March 2000 Ensign Magazine

1 Corinthians 12:31

Moroni 10:3

John 7:17

1 Nephi 8:36-37

Luke 23:34

The Plain Road (Hymn text submission)

Why must I wait for the will of the Lord?

Can this back bolster the weight of accord?

I wander in paths enlightened by Thee.

I tremble for what my eyes cannot see.

Strengthen my wav'ring gait, redeem my soul,

and I'll bear my cross on the plainest road.

How can I carry the weight of the call?

I, once wretched, through Christ can stand tall. 

He is the whisper of healing and hope;

such glorious vistas He zooms to my scope.

Oh, accept my weak heart and feeble mind; 

to none other but Thee am I inclined.

I, His vessel, embark on a journey

to seek such souls in the pitch of the sea.

His virtue, my north star, through tears and storm

I shall usher to the tattered and torn. 

Though the wind taunts the waves to froth and rage,

Thy ship Zion is earnestly engaged.

This eye, single to God, drives my fate:

I might not venture from city or state,

but my errand for Him need never wait.

From tundra's hollow hush to home's own hearth,

I rise from dust and declare to the Earth:

Let all who desire be called to the work!

-2 Nephi 4:31-32

-Doctrine & Covenants 4:2-4

Why? I'll tell you.

Sister A. challenged me, before I left the MTC, to write down what I learned from being at the MTC, WHY I think I was sent there at this time.

Why? Why did the Lord impress me so strongly to serve if He knew I might not be able to finish it out? 

The answer is that I needed to be at the MTC at the time I was there, to meet the people I met and to learn specific lessons. 

Being at the MTC is hard. Serving a mission is hard; a lot harder than I expected. Everybody says it's hard, but you don't really comprehend the extent of it until you experience it for yourself. Plus, everybody goes into their missions with different aspects of spiritual understanding, and thus no two people on their missions experience exactly the same trials. 

After reading over my journal entries from my time at the MTC, I know exactly why I needed to serve. I reported on Septemeber 10th with a fearful, hesitant heart, clinging too tightly to things and people back home. In 2 Nephi 31:13, Nephi urges us to follow the doctrine of Christ with FULL PURPOSE OF HEART. We read that entire chapter multiple times as a district, because it truly shows us our purpose as missionaries: to invite people to come to Christ.

I realized then that I did not have full purpose of heart. It hit me hard, and I began to pray and plead with God that He would change my heart, that I would feel excitement for this work, that I could have an eye SINGLE to the glory of God. Similarly, Doctrine & Covenants section 4 talks about how serving with full purpose of heart, thrusting in your sickle, and having an eye single to the glory of God qualifies us for the work.

What is the glory of God? "For behold, this is my work and my glory - to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39) Having an "eye single to the glory of God" therefore means being completely focused on inviting others to come to Christ, internalizing the very thing for which God lives and strives every day. I prayed earnestly that I might have this glory burning within my own soul. 

Heavenly Father of course answered my prayers, but not without trial. "Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith. Nevertheless - whosoever putteth his trust in him the same shall be lifted up at the last day." (Mosiah 23:21-22)

I came to the MTC to realize that I needed to strengthen my faith. I learned this very personally merely two days after reporting, when my Sister Training Leader let me cry all over her. She gently but firmly suggested that maybe the problem of the situation lay not in the outside circumstances, but rather inside myself. She said I needed to have more faith in God.

Once again, I was chastened. I think we all think, when we (those of us who decide to serve) get our call, that OF COURSE we have faith! Of course we believe in Christ! Why else would we want to serve a mission? Well, maybe that fiath is strong enough to get us out serving, but in order for it to sustain us all the way through - at least in my case - the Lord needs to try and strengthen it. But you can't improve on something unless you know it needs improving.

It's hard to have faith when things - people, blessings, knowledge - are so inconsistent. Sister K. said that if she were me, she'd just keep praying and reading scriptures and focusing on the work. 

One important discrepancy that I have grown familiar with is the difference between believing IN Christ and BELIEVING Christ. It's entirely possible to understand that Christ took the whole world's sins and afflictions upon himself, and yet still entertain a sorrowful heart because one doesn't believe it extends personally, to ME. We must INTERNALIZE Christ's Atonement. We must believe Him when He says it will turn out alright in the end, and that he knows what we're feeling.

So I started praying to be able to recognize the Lord's hand in my life, that I might be able to feel and know of his love for me personally.

Not everything I learned at the MTC was internal, however. A HUGE part of adjusting to missionary life for me was adjusting to having a companion. I've always been rather independent and headstrong, not liking to relent to other people's ways of doing things. I thank the Lord that He blessed me with a companion who saw things differently than I did, and with whom I frequently disagreed. By the time companionship inventory rolled around each Sunday, I was able to clearly pinpoint that I:

a) needed to develop more patience,

b) needed to be more submissive and tolerant of others' ideas and opinions, and

c) that since I wasn't having too hard of a time with learning Russian, that I ought to be unselfish and focus on helping Sister O. learn Russian.

I decide that first Sunday to try to put myself aside, to always ask Sister O's input when deciding what to teach or study, to truly inquire and care about her spiritual and emotional well-being. That Sunday we also watched a prerecorded devotional called "The Character of Christ" by David A. Bednar. He spoke of turning outside of oneself when the natural man would turn in, and so I decided to try it out with my companion.

I do believe it worked. We got a lot closer and she became more carefree and willing to share her unique spiritual insights with myself and the rest of the district. I love Sister O. and hope she is doing well with the recent changes.

But all of this was a process. It continued to get harder throughout my second week at the MTC. Although I tried to embody charity, sometimes being in the MTC just gets to me. There are a WHOLE lot more rules than I expected. They range from as simple as, "no chewing gum" to more obviously protective rules such as "no playing football." I came into the MTC WANTING to obey all the rules, but truly, there are SO MANY! Some I understood, but others I felt were unfair. Why could we play soccer and volleyball during gym time, but no Ultimate frisbee? My companion loved playing volleyball during gym, so I accompanied her to whichever court she went to. 

That doesn't mean I played, though. Gym time is meant for relaxing and forgetting all the stresses of being a missionary, yet during gym time I felt more stressed than ever. None of the tings that would relieve MY stress were allowed: playing piano (have to stay w/ your companion), bicycling (no, indoors doesn't count), swimming (for obvious reasons), even appreciating Mother Nature from a few feet off the ground. NO CLIMBING TREES. (For the record, I was wearing pants, not a skirt.)

I was terribly frustrated. Yes, I knew I had to give all of myself to the Lord, but truly ALL of myself? Al the other missionaries were able to retain a smidgen of themselves through volleyball and whatnot during gym time. I could not. 

I felt like the Lord was demanding more of me than of everyone else. I just wanted a moment to myself each day, but Heavenly Father would not allow it. He demanded that I serve him monetarily, physically, intellectually, spiritually, AND emotionally. ALL OF ME.

I was in this state of turmoil - trying to reconcile myself to giving literally ALL to the Lord - on Saturday night. I found some scriptures on sacrifice and chastening, but still, my mission scripture stuck out to me. (Mark 8:34-37)

"And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it.

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?"

That personal study on Saturday evening was a harrowing experience, as the Lord reminded me QUITE visually and viscerally that I ought to give him all, that of whom much is given, much is required. 

After many tears, I asked Elder K. from my district for a blessing. It was the first time he'd ever given a priesthood blessing (which I didn't know until I asked him), and it was such a privilege to see his humility and purity and gratitude for the opportunity to exercise his priesthood. I love the elders in my district so much. They have a fervor and virtue and SINCERITY in their eyes that a lot of returned missionaries I've met have lost. As another sister said later that night, the Spirit was RAGING. Elder K blessed me with peace, and that as I brought others to Christ, so too would I bring myself to Christ.

The next day was Sunday, the Ogden Temple re-dedication. We missionaries were privileged to be able to participate, something I've never done before. It was all the more special for me because I actually had the opportunity this summer to go through the open house and see the renovations myself. Although the dedication was a new experience, the Spirit and clarity I received were familiar and strong.

I realized that Sunday that the tipping of my life this summer was June 27th, when I decided to fully and EXACTLY live BYU's Honor Code. I was fed up and done with making excuses and ALMOST measuring up, and just sliding by. On June 27th my life immediately changed. The Lord blessed me with amazing opportunities, peace, support, and revelation. All of this simply because I made up my mind to be obedient.

 Okay, then, I thought in the MTC on Sunday. The Lord wants all of me? Fine. Wonderful! I'll give all of myself to Him, no holding back. No longer will I wonder why we have a particular rule. NO longer will I join in complaining about skirt length or staying within sight and sound of my companion. I am done clutching to the vestiges of my selfish heart. I gladly let the Lord cut me down, because I know He does i tout of love, so that He may cultivate me to become more like Him, like the queen He formed me to be.

So starting Sunday night, I went to bed at 10:30 PM, even though I hadn't written much in my journal, because that is what the schedule said so that is what I did without question. I knew then that my life was about to change. I expected the Lord to bless me SOMEHOW for my obedience, even though I didn't yet know how.

But the very next day we went to the doctor about my legs, and three days later, I was released from full time missionary service.

People ask me, how can you be so calm? How can you be so happy? Because:

a) I already went through the self-evaluation and chastening while I was in the MTC, and am at peace with myself and the Lord now,

b) I knew change was coming, and the fact that my life changed so drastically so quickly after I decided to give myself to the Lord is evidence to me that the Lord loves me, that I am where He wants me to be, and that He is always waiting to bless us. Finally, 

c) I received personal revelation that this is what He wants for me right now. 

When this all started on Monday, and the doctor mentioned the possibility of me going home, I knew there would be a decision to make. I prayed fervently that the Lord would bless the doctors and MTC leaders with the knowledge of what is best for me at this time. I even tried to fast, when our district when to the temple on Wednesday morning to do an endowment session. I prayed to receive revelation in the temple of what I ought to do, that the Lord would make His will known to me. I received a very clear answer.

I got a bloody nose in the middle of the endowment session and had to leave. Even though I had good intentions, I wasn't physically capable of serving in that capacity. The Lord works in parables, in metaphor, and I recognized what He was trying to tell me: that He was thankful for my desire to serve, but that I needed to go home.

So no, I'm not really upset. I feel calm and at peace and confident that I am doing the Lord's will. I know He answers prayers. I have seen His hand in my life; I know He loves me and looks out for me. I know we have a great duty to bring the Gospel of Jesus Christ to all the world, living and dead, and that He blesses us for our recognition of and sacrifice for the work of salvation. I have faith that all will be made known to me in time, but for now I am content to be at home. 

Sure, I miss my Russian family at the MTC, and everyone else I met there, but it doesn't haunt me. I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the true church. I know Heavenly Father loves me as much as He loves every single one of His children. He wants us to return to Him, and the only way is through Christ. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

Called to Serve

Well, this week has been interesting. I only have about 15 minutes left so this might be short but oh, well.

This week I learned a lesson about obedience. All my life I've been particularly hot-headed when I don't agree with something, especially rules that I found arbitrary, unnecessary, or unfair. Earlier this year when I was living in BYU approved housing, I was having a rough time keeping the honor code, and brought a lot of trials upon myself.

Once I made up my mind to exactly live the Honor Code, my life improved drastically. That very day something happened that blessed my life exceedingly. But I know that Heavenly Father blessed me with that opportunity because I decided to be completely and humbly obedient. 

Here in the MTC there are quite a few more rules than the Honor Code, or even than the White Handbook. I tried to keep a humble heart coming into the MTC by ensuring that all my clothing fit the guidelines, and by making sure I followed the packing list to exactness. But there were a few things that irked me about being in the MTC, mostly about gym time.

Gym time is not my favorite time. On Saturday I decided to climb a tree and study flashcards while my district played volleyball. Needless to say, one of the gym supervisors told me to get down. I got down but was quite upset. I thought it was unfair that everyone else was able to relax and do something for themselves during gym time, but not myself. 

I prayed and read my scriptures intensely that day, and asked for a blessing. I wanted to figure out how best to give my all to the Lord. The next day, during the temple dedication, I recalled my experience with the Honor Code, and decided to do the same with the rules here in the MTC. I realized that it doesn't matter if I don't understand why a rule is in effect, or if I think it's unfair. I'm here to serve the Lord. So I decided starting Monday morning to follow every rule with exactness. I started to go to bed on time and stopped murmuring about the little rules that are hard to follow.

On Monday Sister O. urged me to go see the doctor here at the MTC about my legs. I thought that they would stop misbehaving once I ate regularly and ate fruits and veggies at each meal, but they still collapse randomly. The doctor gave me some crutches to use at my discretion and scheduled an MRI and a blood test to try and figure out what's causing it.

Long story short, we don't know. There wasn't anything unusual in the MRI of my lumbar spine, which is good in one sense because the doctor was afraid there was a tumor or misplaced disc that was affecting my spinal cord. So that's good. But the blood test - which tested the functions of my liver, kidneys, other random intestines that I don't know the names of, blood sugar, white blood cell count, electrolytes, all that fun stuff - showed that I am a perfectly healthy 19 year old. Which I knew. Except that sometimes my legs collapse. 

So the doctor recommends I go home on medical release so that I can talk with a neurologist and figure out what's causing this because it's been happening since July and hasn't gone away even with full nights of sleep and proper nutrition. I find out later today whether I get to stay or have to go home.

All in all, I know that it is no coincidence that I talked with the doctor on the very same day that I decided to be completely obedient and give my all to the Lord. Saturday was a hard day for me, but I did a lot of praying and reading my scriptures got a blessing from the elders in my district. Sunday I decided to stop murmuring and give all of myself - physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally - to the Lord. Monday I employed that plan. 

There's a Mormon messages video about being chastised by the Lord that I love. It talks about how the Lord knows best, and he cuts us down sometimes because he loves us. We may think we know His plan, but we probably don't, so it's better to just humbly submit and let Him lead us.

Sorry if this letter was scattered and vague and made no sense and wasn't as detailed...

Talk to you all later!

Love,

Sister Maxwell

 

One more thing:

In my text post I said that temple work is not for the living; it's for our ancestors. That wasn't exactly right. Temple work AFTER receiving our own ordinances is for our ancestors. Only AFTER. Okay. Sorry. Just had to clarify that. <3

Week 1 at the MTC!

Hello everyone!

Life at the MTC is wonderfully challenging. I want to hear from you people! Just because I can't EMAIL (except on Wednesday, which is P day), it doesn't mean you can't write me whenever you want, however often you want! Seriously, getting letters from home and loved ones would make this transition a lot easier. I don't want to give my personal email out on here but if you leave a comment on this post, my parents should see it and get in touch with you. Also, DAD (Frank), if you can figure out how to set up a dearelder account for me, you can post it on my blog or facebook and people can "email" me but I'll receive it as a paper letter. Mail time is in the evenings, right before bed, so don't worry about distracting me. It's honestly worse wondering if everyone is still alive D:

My SNAIL MAIL address is:

Sister Serena Kathleen Maxwell

NOV10   RUS-VLA

2007 N 900 E Unit 29

Provo, UT 84602

Anyway, the MTC is pretty great. Yesterday my whole district (6 elders and 4 sisters, including myself) sung at a world broadcasted devotional that Elder Richard G. Scott spoke at. It just happened to be my FAVORITE hymn, Be Still, My Soul. It was absolutely PERFECT for a new missionary. We might even sing in General Conference! Pay close attention for me!

It hasn't really sunk in that we'll be here for 8 more weeks. It still feels like I'm at a BYU camp, except this time I'm the participant instead of the counselor. I really love my district... I was quite sad on Friday evening and the next day at mail time each of the elders in my district gave me a handwritten note to comfort me. These are the kinds of elders in the MTC with me. I love knowing I'm surrounded by people who are devoted to Christ, who expand OUT to love people instead of withdrawing IN. (What habit is that? Habit 1: BE PROACTIVE!) 

My companion, Sister O., is DEFINITELY different from me, in almost EVERY conceivable way. I'm learning a lot about just letting things go and forgiveness. Sometimes it's just easier to shut up and let people do things their way (which, in my perspective, might be counter-intuitive or not as effective) than start an argument and lose the Spirit, especially right before a lesson.

Yes, I've taught four lessons already! In RUSSIAN! Also, I can pray and bear my testimony in Russian, now. Honestly, the language isn't really that difficult for me. The Lord had a divine purpose in inspiring me to take Russian last semester, before I got my call. I am so awed by the sisters and elders who have to start from scratch. They've improved SO much. My trials are a little more interpersonal and emotional than language, but everyone has different trials and different blessings. Keep us missionaries in your prayers!

I had the opportunity to go to the temple this morning. We did an endowment session but I wasn't able to do it for one of the myriad names I brought on my mission, because my family names aren't ready for endowment yet. I think this whole mindset of, "You're on a mission to serve the living, not the dead" is bogus. It doesn't say anything of the sort in the Missionary Handbook. If that mindset were grounded in fact, then they'd tell us. They wouldn't schedule us at the temple every week. AFTER ALL, temple work is NOT for us; it is for OUR ANCESTORS. I know that I have people on the edge of their theoretical seats on the other side of the veil, anxiously waiting for me to do their work. The Lord turned my heart to them and I will not forget them just because I'm on a mission. If I have the opportunity to go to the temple, I will try my hardest to do family work.

Yes, this week hasn't been the easiest of my life. However, the challenges I do face are both exciting and spiritual. I know that the Lord answers prayers, even if he waits sometimes until we NEED it the most. I know that there can be no blessing until after the trial of our faith. Through Christ's Atonement I know that I can overcome my doubts and weakness and grow in patience, charity, faith, and hope. 

"And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it." - Mark 8:34-35

I am losing my life in this Gospel because I love the Lord and I know that it is what he wants me to do for my brethren and sisters in Russia. I take up my cross and willingly follow Him.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Love,

Sister Maxwell

​

MTC - Day #2

I LOVE THE MTC!  Очень весело!!!  (Very fun)  That's my new phrase ☺   The first class was cool because we reviewed some phrases I already knew, and the teacher only spoke Russian to us.  By the time class ended, I probably understood 60% of what she said.

We (the Russians) have a whole floor of a lesson building to ourselves.  I'm still working on remembering who is in which district/zone/blah-blah, but it's SO FUN just walking around there because EVERYONE is talking & laughing in Russian, and I understand maybe 20%...  RECOGNIZE probably another 50% of the words, even if I don't know what they mean.  It's weird how easily you can tell between newbies and kids who've been here a few weeks.  The latter have much more of a spirit about them.  This really just feels like girls' camp or EFY... zone leaders like counselors.

Anyway that's all I have time for now ...  BUT I LOVE THE MTC, and RUSSIAN!!!

Why do Mormons go on missions?

I answered this question on my tentative mission preparation blog, but it didn't really kick off... so I'm going to post it on here as well:

Q: Why do you feel it's appropriate to try to convince people to join your religion? What is the purpose of religion? Are members of your religion encouraged or expected to teach their children the religion? What is your religion's opinion of parents who allow their children to choose their own religion and expose them to many different kinds?

I'm starting with these questions because they personally are the most relevant to me in this stage of my life, and I feel inspired to answer them first.

What is the purpose of religion? Well, I'm sure there are countless peer-reviewed articles, documentaries, and anthropological studies on this question, so let's narrow it down a bit. What is the purpose of the Mormon religion?

The purpose of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is to help people return to live with God. It does so by:

• providing a refuge from the rest of the world, where we can lift each other up and grow in spirituality (i.e. the weekly meetings we attend),
• gathering God's children through missionary work,
• caring for the poor and needy,
• and "enabling the salvation of the dead by building temples and performing vicarious ordinances." (See lds.org - the Purpose of the Church)

Missionary work is important to me and to the rest of the Church - not because we want to take over the world, or have the most members, or make the most money, or any similarly trite reason - because everybody is a child of God, and everybody deserves the opportunity to hear the truth about returning to Him. It is our responsibility as members of the Church, as people who know the truth, to offer it to those that do not yet have it. 

But isn't that infringing on their personal choice? Why not let people live their lives the way they want to? 

Of course people can live their lives the way they want to! That is the greatest of God's gift to us here on Earth: We can choose everything. We can choose what or in whom to believe. We can choose what we wear, what we eat for breakfast, our attitudes. We (as Mormons) never force anyone to be a part of our church. It goes against our beliefs to force yours.

Nevertheless, we want to offer it to you. Let me quote a chapter from the Book of Mormon that I think illustrates this principle effectively. Bear with me, and I think you will understand our viewpoint a little more. Starting with verse 2:

"And it came to pass that while my father tarried in the wilderness he spake unto us, saying: Behold, I have dreamed a dream; or, in other words, I have seen a vision.

And behold, because of the thing which I have seen, I have reason to rejoice in the Lord because of Nephi and also of Sam; for I have reason to suppose that they, and also many of their seed, will be saved.

But behold, Laman and Lemuel, I fear exceedingly because of you; for behold, methought I saw in my dream, a dark and dreary wilderness.

And it came to pass that I saw a man, and he was dressed in a white robe; and he came and stood before me.

And it came to pass that he spake unto me, and bade me follow him.

And it came to pass that as I followed him I beheld myself that I was in a dark and dreary waste.

And after I had traveled for the space of many hours in darkness, I began to pray unto the Lord that he would have mercy on me, according to the multitude of his tender mercies.

And it came to pass after I had prayed unto the Lord I beheld a large and spacious field.

And it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy.

And it came to pass that I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted. Yea, and I beheld that the fruit thereof was white, to exceed all the whiteness that I had ever seen.

And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit.

And as I cast my eyes round about, that perhaps I might discover my family also, I beheld a river of water; and it ran along, and it was near the tree of which I was partaking the fruit.

And I looked to behold from whence it came; and I saw the head thereof a little way off; and at the head thereof I beheld your mother Sariah, and Sam, and Nephi; and they stood as if they knew not whither they should go.

And it came to pass that I beckoned unto them; and I also did say unto them with a loud voice that they should come unto me, and partake of the fruit, which was desirable above all other fruit.

And it came to pass that they did come unto me and partake of the fruit also.

And it came to pass that I was desirous that Laman and Lemuel should come and partake of the fruit also; wherefore, I cast mine eyes towards the head of the river, that perhaps I might see them.

And it came to pass that I saw them, but they would not come unto me and partake of the fruit.

And I beheld a rod of iron, and it extended along the bank of the river, and led to the tree by which I stood.

And I also beheld a strait and narrow path, which came along by the rod of iron, even to the tree by which I stood; and it also led by the head of the fountain, unto a large and spacious field, as if it had been a world.

And I saw numberless concourses of people, many of whom were pressing forward, that they might obtain the path which led unto the tree by which I stood.

And it came to pass that they did come forth, and commence in the path which led to the tree.

And it came to pass that there arose a mist of darkness; yea, even an exceedingly great mist of darkness, insomuch that they who had commenced in the path did lose their way, that they wandered off and were lost.

And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree.

And after they had partaken of the fruit of the tree they did cast their eyes about as if they were ashamed.

And I also cast my eyes round about, and beheld, on the other side of the river of water, a great and spacious building; and it stood as it were in the air, high above the earth.

And it was filled with people, both old and young, both male and female; and their manner of dress was exceedingly fine; and they were in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers towards those who had come at and were partaking of the fruit.

And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost.

And now I, Nephi, do not speak all the words of my father.

But, to be short in writing, behold, he saw other multitudes pressing forward; and they came and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press their way forward, continually holding fast to the rod of iron, until they came forth and fell down and partook of the fruit of the tree.

And he also saw other multitudes feeling their way towards that great and spacious building.

And it came to pass that many were drowned in the depths of the fountain; and many were lost from his view, wandering in strange roads.

And great was the multitude that did enter into that strange building. And after they did enter into that building they did point the finger of scorn at me and those that were partaking of the fruit also; but we heeded them not.

These are the words of my father: For as many as heeded them, had fallen away.

And Laman and Lemuel partook not of the fruit, said my father.

And it came to pass after my father had spoken all the words of his dream or vision, which were many, he said unto us, because of these things which he saw in a vision, he exceedingly feared for Laman and Lemuel; yea, he feared lest they should be cast off from the presence of the Lord.

And he did exhort them then with all the feeling of a tender parent, that they would hearken to his words, that perhaps the Lord would be merciful to them, and not cast them off; yea, my father did preach unto them.

And after he had preached unto them, and also prophesied unto them of many things, he bade them to keep the commandments of the Lord; and he did cease speaking unto them." - 1 Nephi 8:2-38

Do you see now? We want to share the gospel with you because we have tasted it, and we know it is good; we know it is of God. It is not out of a selfish desire to elevation or authority that we do missionary work. We do it because we love you. 

And as we love you, even more so do we love our children, and want them to return to God's presence eventually. So we teach them the principles of the gospel as they grow, but encourage them to seek for truth themselves. We do this in the faith that we have the complete truth of Jesus Christ. 

Because my parents have faith in me and faith in Christ, they always encouraged me to search out truth for myself. If I wanted to, I could have attended other church services and my mother would have said, "It's your choice." I remember times when I was tired or lazy and did not want to go to church. I'd go up to my mom with some poor excuse: "My throat hurts :(  I don't think I can go to church today." or, "I have a huge project due on Monday. Can I stay home from church and work on it?" And she never forced me. She told me, "It's your choice, Serena. Do what you feel is right."

I think most other young Mormons can attest to having similar experiences growing up. And my opinion of parents who allow their children to choose their own religion? I think it's great! I am a strong pursuer of truth and knowledge, and will always uphold that search. Nevertheless, I think it's important that parents in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints set an example of faith and obedience for their children, and encourage them to do the same.